Aspirant Lessons - 1

My time as an Aspirant is coming to a close (I don't technically become a Postulant until October) and it is making me feel a little reflective. It is pretty much impossible to adequately put this past year into words. So instead I've decided to share a few of the big lessons I learned. This is not an exhaustive list, but I'll spare you the messy details and just share the highlights. :)

1. Hold Your Plans Loosely
When I entered, I thought the routine of the convent would make life a little more steady and predictable than it was before. And in some ways it did. (There is ALWAYS time for prayer and I know exactly when dinner is coming.) But, pretty much every day I have done something that has made me stop and think, "Well. Never thought I'd be doing THAT today." I'd wake up each morning with my plan for the day, timing all my tasks just right so that MAYBE I could sneak a nap in. And each day God would laugh and surprise me with something completely different. Whether it was cleaning out closets, setting up teacher classrooms, picking up a food donation from a restaurant, tying ribbons on 100 teddy bears, hanging out at the pool with high school girls, sifting cereal, peeling potatoes, arranging flowers, or dancing across the stage at a national youth ministry conference - there was no telling what each day would bring. Life is unpredictable no matter where you are or what your vocation is, and these daily surprises happen to everyone. However, for some reason for the first few months in the convent they were a little harder to accept (*cough* because I wasn't in control). Then our Provincial, Sr. Karen, told us something that has become a group mantra. She told us that it's good to make our plans, that's how normal people function. But, we need to hold them loosely. If we make our plans and hold them in clenched fists, then we're resentful, annoyed, or angry when something else comes up and they have to change. But, if we hold them in open hands, then we're ready to offer them to God and to receive whatever He may have in store for that day. For the most part, the surprises, changes, and interruptions are trivial... simply tiny annoyances throughout the day. But, I'm learning that it is exactly in these small moments that we grow in obedience and holiness. If I can't choose God's will over my own in the little things, it will be nearly impossible to do it for the bigger things. Now, when those unexpected opportunities to practice God's will over our own appear, the other Aspirants and I will look at each other and just hold our hands open in front of us. Your will be done, Lord.  (And then I try my hardest to keep the interior whining to a minimum.)